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November 01, 2004

This Message Brought To You By Americans For The Guy Who Sucks Less.
I think today will be the last time I'll be talking about politics in a long time. Of course that's a lie. But what I really mean is that it's getting close to the time when I'll stop talking politics for some time. Tomorrow I vote. And the day after I laugh hysterically from my guy winning, or I vent and think of new ways to fuck my system up with some good ole drugs, preferably the strong stuff. I honestly don't know what to wish for: have my shithead candidate win, or get really fucked up. Hmmmm.

But while I'm pondering that, let me make one last case for my guy. And one last case against the other guy.

My guy's good and your guy sucks.

Your guy sucks balls even though he hates faggots. My guy is cool. And your guy is a whore. He whored himself his entire adult life. Then he found Jesus. Make up your mind flip-flopper, crack head whore or Jesus freak? One minute your snorting the white shit. Next thing your going to church trying to get right. You can't have it both ways, crackhead. Either crack or Jesus.

Yeah. I know that's a hard choice. You give up the crack and you get dumber. You give up Jesus and you lose the presidency. Stay president and be dumb. Lose the election and stay on the crack. I wish I didn't have to choose between those two. Plus, if you choose the crack, you lose that wife of yours. But we all know which is more important don't we. Tell you what, someone finds a way to reunite Bush with his crack, I'll find a way to get you a 5 dollar Target coupon. It's Target, and you'll be helping Bush in the process. Cause my homey is hurting inside, just like Courtney Love.

Taxes. I hear somebody wants to give me a tax break. You know what my sister did with her Earned Child Credit? She got an abortion with that tax break. And my flimsy uncle got his boyfriend an ass lift. And Bush says he's against abortion and gay unions. Then why support a tax break that supports abortions, preferably partial birth abortions, and gays sodomizing each other on the shores of Hawaii. Bush isn't for more family values and good Christian morals, he's for less, and more abortions and gay anal sex. And he claims to want to be the president of the greatest half-assing Christian nation on Earth. Puh-leeeeeze!

And Bush says he's against terrorism. Like I'm against lesbian porn. His father loves the Saudis. And aren't the Saudis Muslim. And what did Bush do after 9/11. He goes to war against Saddam and frees the Iraqi Muslims from the tyrannical grips of Hussein. For a man who wants to kill the terrorist, who we all know are Muslims, he sure do want to free a great many of them, giving them rights like we have here in America. Does that sound like a man who hates the terrorist? I don't think so. In fact, it sounds like ole Bush is a terrorist lover. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he won reelection that he wouldn't outlaw English and make that jibba-jabba Islamic crap our national language.

I say do we honestly want a pro-partial birth abortion, pro-gay sex, pro crack, pro-crackhead, pro-Muslim terrorist, Islamic speaking Texan in office?

Do We?

I think you know the answer.

And that's why I'm here to say with great horror that Super-Villain Style endorses that wooden son-of-a-beyotch John Kerry and his gay country friend, John Kerry, for President and Vice-President of the United States of America.

Of course this means that these dudes will surely lose. My endorsement is like Osama showing you love.

But still... Fuck It.

You can still vote and say fuck it at the same time. So go vote, then bitch later, and get fucked up whether your guy wins or loses.
To My Love, Osama:

Just when I thought I wouldn't see you again, you return. Now my life is turned upside down. And what did you expect. You thought I would just drop what I was doing and go back to you. Sorry sweetie, but it won't be that easy. I won't just return to being your little lap dog. I've grown since you were gone. I got a new job, a new house, a new car. I've been spending my time on others. And I think you know that. I've seen it in you before. You're just jealous, jealous that I've moved on, jealous that I've done better without you. And you just can't stand it. Well, tough luck. Because I'm not going back. I'm a changed person, and most of that change has been for the better. And I want it to stick. So, you can just go. Find yourself someone else to rule over, to control. Because you and me is over, honeychile!
-- D.R.O.
posted by Doc Savage | Link |

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